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REVIEWS PAGE 2
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CHILDREN
OF THE NIGHT - 1991 - Director: Tony Randel
Fangoria Magazine
presents this slick little vampire flick. Karen Black and Peter
Deluise are two of the bigger names in this one, but youngster Amy Dolenz
(Ticks, Witchboard 2) steals the show as the teenager who's Grandmother
and best friend have been transformed into Vampires. She teams up
with Deluise and Garrett Moriss (Saturday Night Live) to put a stop
to the infestation. Evan MacEnzie does a fine job as Reverend Aldin,
who's lost touch with reality and is keeping his sister-in-law and former
lover, played by Karen Black, locked in an upstairs bedroom. Sound
twisted enough for you? Director Tony Randel (Hellraiser 2) does
a fantastic job with the imagery, lighting and special effects.
There's a ton of tongue in cheek humor here and a very good pace to keep
you locked in.
FEAR FACTOR:
6 - STUPID VICTIM SCALE: 3 - SFX: 6
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THE CHILLING
- 1989
Somebody tell
me how Linda Blair went from her brilliant performance in "The Exorcist"
to this debacle. I love Zombie movies, and any incarnation of them,
but this one was so unbelievable even I couldn't force myself into this
one. Now I realize this IS a movie, and normal rules don't always
apply, but this one was just plain ridiculous. The plot is based
around Cryogenics, which is more believable than more of this movie.
The first mistake I caught was a weather forecast saying it would be below
Zero temperature for the trick or treaters. But later it was raining...
hmmm, now either the weatherman REALLY sucks, or the director didn't realize
that if the temp is below zero, RAIN will most likely become SNOW.
Next, the power goes out and the Cryogenics lab, a million dollar operation
has no backup?? The security guards, one was Dan Haggerty (Grizzly
Adams) have to move the pods containing the bodies outside to keep them
cool, where they are struck by lighting, ALL of them separately and the
bodies come to life. The Zombies are running around with tinfoil
looking suits and bad rubber masks, if they were going for cheesy humor
would be one thing, but they seemed to be serious. This is way to
much explanation for this one, it's not worth the time and effort to rent,
even for a good laugh.
FEAR FACTOR:
4 - STUPID VICTIM SCALE: 7 - SFX: 3
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CHOPPING
MALL - 1986 - DIRECTOR: JIM WYNORSKI
The tagline
for this one is "Where shopping will cost you an arm and a leg"...
now that's clever eh! This totally 80's movie is actually more
of a Science Fiction movie than Horror as a group of horny teens get stuck
in a high-security Shopping Mall armed with 3 maniacal robots who have
gone astray. By today's standards, the robots and computers are
archaic, but that's part of the fun. The robots are like a cross
between "Short Circuit" and "Robocop" kicking ass
in the mall in "Fast Times At Ridgemont High", and after every
time they kill someone, they are sure to say "thank you and have
a nice day". This one is directed by Jim Wynorski (The Haunting
Of Morella, Demolition High), and he does a decent job with the action.
This one moves along at a good pace, even for today's crowds. If
you took away the hairdo's and cheesy music, this one would still stand
up today... fer sure.
FEAR FACTOR:
4 - STUPID VICTIM SCALE: 4 - SFX: 4
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THE CHURCH
- 1988 - MICHELE SOAVI - DARIO ARGENTO
You might
have some problems finding this one as I did. It's also known as
"Demons 3" and "La Chiesa" and some might think the
movie was directed by Dario Argento, but in fact Michele Soavi takes those
honors. Argento was heavily involved however and his daughter Asia
played one of the main roles. In typical Argento style, this one
too pertains to religion and Satanic subject matter. The plot is
based around a church that was built over a burial ground of "witches"
that were slaughtered in Medieval times. Now the Church is "haunted"
and the evil has become unleashed. Even though Argento didn't direct,
he could have just as well, the only difference is that it's slow moving
at times. There's a mix of foreigners and Americans that make the
casting confusing, but it's not really an issue. There are some
rather disturbing images here, especially in the beginning, but overall
there's too much story-telling and not enough action. Good luck
finding this one under "The Church" as I did, there seems to
be a number of aka titles to look for.
FEAR FACTOR:
6 - STUPID VICTIM SCALE: 4 - SFX: 6
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CONTAGION
- 1987
This Australian-made
shocker starts off as a cross between "Texas Chainsaw Massacre",
"The Hills Have Eyes" and "Deliverance", and almost
as disturbing. Then this one takes some twists and turns that I
still don't understand... and maybe I'm not supposed to! After our
hero, "Mark", escapes and kills his captors, he comes upon a
beautiful house in the middle of the outback inhabited by two lovely blondes
and an aging aristocrat. He is easily seduced by the lovely sheila's
(bit of Aussie slang for you) and let's them talk him into killing the
people that were in his way of success. It get's to be a bit too
"artsy" at times as I suspect you are left to interpret what
is really going on. The end starts much like the beginning, with
some good chases complete with axes, butcher knives, arrows and the works.
The cinematography is done pretty well, it looks professional and the
acting is good. I would have to recommend this one simply because
it's weird... of course the blondes didn't hurt either.
FEAR FACTOR:
6 - STUPID VICTIM SCALE: 4 - SFX: 6
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CREATURE
- 1985 - TROMA RELEASE
Often overlooked
as when listing great Sci-Fi Horror, maybe because it's a Troma Release,
and they are known for making BAD movies. It has been accused of
being an "Alien" rip-off, but so has every other Science Fiction
movie since. We are in a race with West Germany (made before the
wall came down) to mine plutonium. When the current team drives
their ship into the home base Kamikaze style, they send another crew to
investigate.... that's when they discover "The Creature".
If you want to compare this to "Alien", this monster isn't just
on a killing rampage, it attaches an organism to their skulls and actually
takes over the body. This is how they lure the others to their demise,
by using their own. William Malone, who also directed the scary
"House On Haunted Hill" in 1999 does a fine job with the effects
and camera angles. It's rather unnerving when you are looking though
the eyes of the Creature. Veteran actor Klaus Kinski plays a miner from
the German team and gives the movies a creepy edge when he's on-screen.
The rest of the cast are character actors you'll probably recognize from
other roles. This one's a sleeper, it's usually under "Science
Fiction" but could easily be under "Horror".
FEAR FACTOR:
7 - STUPID VICTIM SCALE: 4 - SFX: 7
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CREATURE
FROM THE BLACK LAGOON - 1954 - Director: Jack Arnold
One of the
most famous monsters from the 50's, or any generation for that matter.
This one starts off quite boldly proclaiming evolution as how we all came
about on this earth, but after that doesn't get too philosophical.
The soundtrack is quite possibly the strongest part of the movie superbly
done by Hans Salter. The orchestral effects were quite loud and
time perfectly. The monster itself is pretty realistic for this
era as well. The underwater shots make him look quite scary and
some nice camera work and angle make it work very well. The story
is simple, a group of scientists doing research run into the man/fish
and the debate begins whether to kill or capture the creature... then
they realize THEY are the prey. Some claim the popularity of this
movie stems from the extended swim and sexuality of star Julie Adams.
This was pretty risqué for the this time period. The dialogue is
a bit hokey in today's standards, but it still manages to give off some
nerve-racking scares.
FEAR FACTOR:
6 - STUPID VICTIM SCALE: 3 - SFX: 5
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CREATUREALM:
DEMON'S WAKE - 1998 - Director: Michael Legge
Unique film
from independent production company Brimestone Productions. There's
much more dialogue than action, and it's obvious that writer/director
Michael Legge has done his research and is a fan of the horror genre.
He takes a very different approach, which may seem silly to some, but
as a more artistic piece, it comes off very well. The first story
of the film is located in a courtroom and covers a murder case where the
murder in question may have been the cause of Demon possession.
Legge, while serious about the subject matter, has a dry sense of humor.
One of the witnesses is actually brought back to life in the courtroom
by a "witch" who practices voodoo. The second part of
the film "Dryer Straits" was very comical. An elderly lady is
having problems with her dryer, she's breaking out in a rash and is constantly
itching. Later on she's attacked by a "lint monster" that
crawls out of the dryer... I nearly bust a gut laughing. As I mentioned,
this is low budget, but the acting and creativity surpass your expectations.
The beauty of Independent films is that rules can and are broken on a
more regular basis. No, it's not for everyone, but for those passionate
about their movies, you need these in the mix to keep it interesting.
FEAR FACTOR:
4 - STUPID VICTIM SCALE: 4 - SFX: 3
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CRITTERS
- 1986 - Director: Stephen Herek
B-Movie wackiness
doesn't get much better than the Critters series. The first instalment
sets up the basic plot taken out of a 50's Science Fiction movie.
The "critters" have escaped from an alien spaceship and two
shape-shifting bounty hunters are hired to wipe them out before they can
do any major damage. Unfortunately the critters land on earth and
terrorize a small Midwestern community. The Critters look like little
porcupines with a lot of teeth. They can shoot quills at their victim
and will roll into a ball to move around. Scott Grimes plays "Brad
Brown" the youngster who's trying to save his family from the hungry
hairballs who incidentally are grow dramatically with each meal.
There's a lot of humor implemented here, especially with the use of subtitles
when the Critters speak. The cast does a great job reacting to their
rather silly enemy and Stephen Herek (Rock Star, Bill & Tedd's Excellent
Adventure) does a great job by shooting the action at night creating much
more tension than day light shots would have. This one is acceptable
for kids even though the action is pretty heavy.
FEAR FACTOR:
6 - STUPID VICTIM SCALE: 3 - SFX: 5
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CRITTERS
3- 1991 - Director: Kristine Peterson
Leonardo Dicaprio...
yes that's right, from Critters to the Titanic. He was quite a bit
younger in this one. Now that I have that out of the way, I must
admit this movie wasn't half bad. It was made more for a younger
crowd, but it had enough action and sarcasm to keep my interest.
The only connection from the previous films was "Charlie" played
again by Don Opper, who helped write the first installment. This
time the "Critters" are stalking an apartment building.
There's some BLATANT "Gremlins" ripoffs, including the main
"Critter" having a white streak in his hair... or quils.
Kristine Peterson does a very good job with the action and lighting, and
other than a juvenile scene with the little monsters raising hell in the
kitchen, this was a pretty good "strait-to-video" release.
FEAR FACTOR:
6 - STUPID VICTIM SCALE: 3 - SFX: 5
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CROCODILE
- 2000 - Director: Tobe Hooper
It's inevitable
that if a mainstream movie does well, it will unleash numerous "strait-to-video"
films. That's the case of "Crocodile" which followed the
release of "Lake Placid", another "giant croc" film.
Of course this one, or "Lake Placid" are original either...
remember "Alligator I and II"? The man who directed "Texas
Chainsaw Massacre" has his hand in this one... not literally I hope.
He takes the same concept from the classic film, but instead of a chainsaw
wielding maniac, he throws in a giant Crocodile. This one takes
a long time to get going and when it finally does, you no longer care
about any of the morons trying to escape it. The acting isn't bad
and neither are the effects, but overall, it's pretty average "big-ass
monster" movie.
FEAR FACTOR:
5 - STUPID VICTIM SCALE: 6 - SFX: 5 |
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CROW - 1994 - Director: Alex Proyas
"People
once believed that when you died, a crow took your soul to the land of
the dead.....but
sometimes, just sometimes, the crow could bring that soul back, to make
the wrong things right..." This is the story of Eric Draven,
he and his girlfriend were murdered way before their time, now Eric has
returned to get his revenge, as "The Crow". This is one
of the best comic book adaptations every put to film as director Alex
Proyas captured all the elements of the dark comic. I've seen this
film under "Action", "Suspense" or "Adventure"
but the idea of the dead coming back to get revenge on those who wronged
him is horror in my book. This movie has many layers to it so I
see why it's under so many categories. It's a love story in many
respects, a ghost story in others. Bottom line, it's a Gothic Horror
Revenge Movie with a strong cast and incredible effects and settings.
Now, the reason this movie it so intense and creepy, is that it's star
Bradon Lee, (Bruce's son) was mysteriously killed when a slug from a gun
that was supposed to have blanks shot him in the abdomen area and penetrated
his spine... he passed away hours later. They went on and finished
the film using whatever technology they could to fill the parts.
How ironic his character had come back from because of the unfairness
of his death... it's too bad that couldn't happen in real life.
There's no doubt this ads the the fear of this film... it also make you
sad and frustrated as you wonder what could have been.
FEAR FACTOR:
8 - STUPID VICTIM SCALE: 2 - SFX: 7 |
THE CURSE
- 1987 - David Keith
Imagine the
Waltons going berserk and going on a rampage... well, maybe that's not
the best analogy, but it's not far off. Ironically, this is a H.P.
Lovecraft story about a strange meteor that hits earth and contaminates
a small farming community. Director David Keith, who is more known
for his acting roles, like "Officer And A Gentleman", uses a
lot of gross images to try to make this scary. Unfortunately, bugs and
maggots aren't really scary, they're just disgusting. The crops
are all contaminated, and some of the people start turning into blithering
zombies. Wil Wheaton plays the young Zachary Haynes who has manages
to avoid the contamination left by the meteor. Not much of a story
here, and the father, played by Claude Akins, makes this one seem more
like a demented version of "Hee-Haw".
FEAR FACTOR:
4 - STUPID VICTIM SCALE: 6 - SFX: 5
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Curse
III: Blood Sacrifice - 1991 - Director: Sean Barton
This third
installment in the "Curse" movies is not any way related to
the first two films, which isn't really a bad thing. The story is set
in Africa in the 1950's where a woman (Three's Company's Jenilee Harrions)
interrupts a Triabal ceremony. In return the tribsman conjurs up a demon
to get revenge. The beginning is quite slow but it turns out be a pretty
decent horror flick... much better than you might expect at least. Christopher
Lee give the film some clout as well even though he plays a small part.
FEAR FACTOR: 6
- STUPID VICTIM SCALE: 4 - SFX: 5 |
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CURSE OF THE BLUE LIGHTS
-
1988
-
Written, Directed, & Produced by John Henry Johnson
Starring:
Brent Ritter as “Loath”, Clayton McCaw as “Paul”, Patrick Keller as “Ken”,
Deborah McVenty as “Sandy”, and Becky Golladay as “Alice”.
Synopsis:
Four (what else?) teenagers decide to go parking at a local place known
as “Blue Lights” which has a reputation of being haunted. While
there, they see actual blue lights and begin chasing them. They
don’t catch the blue lights, but they do stumble upon a statue, partially
buried, and a medallion. The statue is of a monstrous demon.
They decide to go for help to dig it out, and by the time they get back
with a police officer (they were stopped for speeding and naturally &
unbelievably tell the truth) the statue is gone. It turns out that
there is a band of ghouls in the old Ward Place attempting to revive the
statue, which turns out to be the “Muldoon Man”, some sort of demon or
demigod. They need the medallion to do this. The explanation
of what is happening is given to the boys by a witch, and they naturally
decide to save the world. In the course of doing so they run into
not only the ghouls and the Muldoon Man but zombies and ghosts as well.
The
plot is so-so; I was able to suspend my disbelief for it. The acting,
however, is pretty bad, especially among the ghouls. I got the impression
that this movie was thrown together by some college kids who, having nothing
better to do, decided to make a horror movie. I didn’t find the
costumes or makeup particularly good, either. The Muldoon Man was
especially unconvincing. The high points are the sets and props:
a dungeon/laboratory, a graveyard, tunnels under the graveyard.
In some cases the special effects are good.
Chances
are, if you like horror movies with all the usual trappings
the
graveyard, dungeon, etc.
then
you’ll find this movie at least tolerable.
REVIEW
BY JOHN HARRIS |
| CUT-
2000 - Director: Kimble Rendell
Surprising
little Slasher by former member of Hoodoo Gurus Kimble Rendell.
"Cut" was filmed in Australia with a complete cast of young
Aussie actors, except for Molly Ringwald. Ringwald plays an actress
from the 80's (that's a stretch) who was part of a cast making a "slasher"
flick when it's young director (Kylie Minogue) meets an untimely demise.
Years later a group of film students, led by the late directors daughter
decide to remake the film again using Ringwalds character "Vanessa
Turnbill". The way the material is handled reminds one of "Scream".
Even the main character looks like a blonde Neve Campbell. There's
references to Wes Craven and other Horror films as well. The special
effects are very good and there's actually some pretty tense moments created.
It turns out to be a little too much like "A Nightmare On Elm Street"
at the end as some of the scares are taken out of the film, but overall,
an entertaining Slasher.
FEAR FACTOR:
6 - STUPID VICTIM SCALE: 4 - SFX: 6 |
CUTTING
CLASS - 1988
Any movie
that features Roddy McDowall tricking a young girl into bending over so
he can sneak a peek can't be all bad right? This one is actually
one of Brad Pitt's first major roles, and you could already sense he was
a little better than average, but not enough to ever think he'd be as
big as he is now. This is your basic 80's Slasher, and is a bit
slow for awhile, but the last third of the movie wasn't actually that
bad. There's some nice twists to who the killer really is, I'll
give Steve Slavkin credit for the interesting storyline. Martin
Mull also has a small part and along with McDowall provides some good
comic relief. Good rockin' soundtrack and a nice finish in the school's
shop classroom.
FEAR FACTOR:
4 - STUPID VICTIM SCALE: 4 - SFX: 5
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