Despite
a slow and ridiculously cliche' beginning, this one pull out some scares
and twists that really catch you off-guard. Yes, it's a "Slasher"
for the most part, but Spanish director creates some quite disturbing
and bloody murders. He also keeps most of the movie dark, which
I realize is no major revelation, but the balance is pretty good, giving
you just enough light to make things interesting. He also uses
some simple photographs and props to create elevate the fear factor.
By 1990 this style had well, gone out of style so it was most likely
left in the dust. It actually looks like a mid-80's film, so who
knows when it could have been filmed. If you like the "Slasher"
film this is a bit of a sleeper in my book, so if you can find it, give
it a shot.
FEAR FACTOR: 7
- STUPID VICTIM SCALE: 5 - SFX: 5
SCARY
MOVIE - 2000 - Director: Keenan Ivory Wayons
It's not
the first time Horror Movies have been the victim of parody. "Student
Bodies" did is back in the early 80's, and pretty much everything
Troma does is a parody. This one was the most mainstream and successful
of them all. Keenan Ivory Wayons (In Living Color) directed this
movie which directly goes after the "Scream" series, "I
Know What You Did Last Summer" and other films from this era..
It comes off like "Airplane" meets your everyday "Slasher"
movie. Hardcore fans might not find the humor in this one, but
the truth is there's some downright hilarious moments! It's not
all about poking fun of the "Slashers", there's some very
funny moments reminiscent of Wayons days with "In Living Color".
There's nothing really scary here as almost every scene is a setup for
a joke.
FEAR FACTOR: 1
- STUPID VICTIM SCALE: N/A - SFX: 5
SCHIZO
- 1977 - Director: Peter Walker
The entire
time you're watching this Horror/Thriller, you have the feeling everything
is not as it seems. This British-made film has similarities to
Hitchcock's work except with more blood and gore. The story is
based around young newlyweds Samantha and Alan Falconer. Samantha
believes someone is stalking her, possibly a man from her past, but
again, nothing is quite as it seems. Walker turns this one into
more of a "Slasher" before it's all said and done but there's
so many twists and turns that it becomes much more than a simple stalker
movie. The British have a way making things more believable with
their natural acting abilities, and even though you think you know the
ending, you keep watching and wondering. Personally, I wasn't
happy with the ending, but I've seen other reviewers quite satisfied.
There's a couple good shockers for fans of Gore here that have to be
seen.
FEAR FACTOR: 6
- STUPID VICTIM SCALE: 3 - SFX: 5
SCREAM
- 1996 - Director: Wes Craven
Like it
or not, this movie revitalized Horror in the late 90's. Granted,
a lot of the Horror it generated was watered down, mainstream and basically
pop-culture rubbish, but it was a shot in the arm for the horror genre.
Ironically a lot of the success was at the expense of the classic "Slasher"
formula. Wes Craven, who helped form Horror in the 70's and 80's
directed this one. Many true fans of horror were upset by his
views in the film. I think the "Scream Trilogy" was
good for horror, it took some obvious questions head on and in the end,
it made directors take some chances and try new approaches. Suddenly
it was "cool" for a popular actor or actress to be featured
in a horror film. This movie pushed along the careers of a lot
of it's cast including Neve Campbell, David Arquette, Courtney Cox,
Matthew Lillard, Skeet Ulrich and Rose McGowan. One might argue
that even Drew Barrymore's brief appearance in the opening sequence
revitalized her movie career. This IS a better than average "Slasher"
for the most part, everything was clicking, the cast, the story, the
director, and the timing. In some ways it's the classic "whodunit"
theory that keeps you guessing, and second-guessing yourself.
I will admit that it's NOT all that original and it DOES steal from
a bunch of other films, but they never came out a claimed in was anything
more than a teen-horror flick! The phenomenon of it all will be
talked about for many years, and again, like it or not, the film will
go down as one of Horror's biggest films.
FEAR FACTOR: 7
- STUPID VICTIM SCALE: 4 - SFX: 5
SCREAM
BLOODY MURDER - 2003 - Director: Jon Hoffman
Dumb humor,
school girls and bad "special effects". It doesn't exactly
sound promising, but somehow this strait to video film is charming and
silly enough to be quite entertaining. All the young actresses are very
inexperienced, but they pull it off quite well. The only "plot"
is that group of school girls get stranded on the way to a dance and
get picked up by a local yokel who brings them back to his junkyard
to make repairs on their van. That's when the killing starts. It becomes
a bit of a murder-mystery, spoofed of course, and turns into entertaining
little flick in the vein of Troma. This one is even relatively safe
for teens as there's no nudity, just some fairly strong sexual content.
Consider this one a comedy first, Horror second. One of the most ridiculous
and hilarious endings you'll see on this level.
FEAR FACTOR: 2
- STUPID VICTIM SCALE: 7 - SFX: 2
SEASON
OF THE WITCH - 1974 - GEORGE ROMERO
I think
this is one of those movies we're supposed to like, and I can honestly
say I didn't hate it, but I also was a little confused by the whole
thing. It's more of a study of a housewife going mad as she experiments
with Witchcraft. The movie is very slow, but at times quite creepy
and disturbing. There were too many dream sequences to be able
to tell what was real and what wasn't, and maybe that was the intent.
The 70's trippy music actually ads to the strangeness of the film, and
makes me jealous of all the good drugs they must have had back then.
Jan White's stoic and expressionless delivery is perfect for this part.
FEAR FACTOR: 5
- STUPID VICTIM SCALE: N/A - SFX: 4
THE
SENDER - 1982 - Director: Roger Christian
Close to
being a "sleeper" this dark and twisted journey into the mind
of a young mental patient is confusing, but intriguing nonetheless.
Zeljko Ivanek is named "John Doe 83" when he arrives at the
Metal Institute. Kathryn Harrold plays Dr. Gail Farmer, who takes
an interest in him. She discovers he has the ability to transfer
his dreams into others minds. There's some very creepy moments
as his nightmares become real to those around him. For a good
part of the movie, you're not really sure what is real and what's a
nightmare. It became a little annoying, but was still scary.
Roger Christian does some great work with the little things, mostly
in the background and barely noticeable at times, but they still added
to the overall eeriness of the film. Watch the scene where they
attempt shock treatment on John Doe, you can almost see the stools the
doctors leap from to give an effect they were blasted backwards.
Other than that little flaw in the camera-work, this movie is pretty
legit.
FEAR FACTOR: 6
- STUPID VICTIM SCALE: N/A - SFX: 5
7 DAYS TO LIVE - 2000 -Sebastian-Niemann
It may be
another "haunted house" style movie, but it's smart, well-acted
and overall done extremely well. Amanda Plummer is always a good
choice if you want to create a creepy atmosphere. She's the wife
of a novelist who have both moved to the countryside when strange things
begin to happen. She is receiving signs of her impending death
from road signs, the TV Weatherman and from all places, a game of Scrabble.
Sean Pertwee (Event Horizon) plays her husband and shows what a gifted
actor he really is. The couple is still in turmoil over the loss
of their son in a freak accident so when strange things begin to happen,
the husband blames it on his wife's paranoia and inability to deal with
their loss. Director Sebastian Niemann makes great use of the
countryside setting and old house where most of the action takes place.
He has good story-telling abilities and gets the most of his actors
and actresses. This one doesn't become true Horror until the end,
but the tension is thick throughout
FEAR FACTOR: 6
- STUPID VICTIM SCALE: N/A - SFX: 7
7eventy
5ive - 2007 - Director: Brian Hooks, Deon Taylor
Your typical
teen slasher based around a game called "seventy five", which
means you make a crank call and have that many seconds to keep the person
on the line. They manage to piss off the wrong person and mayhem ensues.
The killings are brutal and in high numbers. The actors are above average,
in fact director Brian Hooks plays one of the main characters. If you
like the slashers, it's definately a good one. You need to put your
brain away, a few bits of the story are completely ridiculous but it's
not enough to ruin the movie. Completely suprising ending to this one
as well. Rutger Hauer has a small role as a detective but is only on
screen for a short time.
FEAR FACTOR: 6
- STUPID VICTIM SCALE: 6 - SFX: 6
SHADOW
OF THE VAMPIRE - 2000 - Director: E.
Elias Merhige
Very enjoyable
film about the making of "Nosferatu" in 1922 by the German
Production Comany Prana-Film. John Malkovich plays director F.W.
Murnau, who actually did direct the masterpiece. Willem Dafoe
is Max Schreck, the actor who plays the famous vampire... a little too
well I might add. There is a dry wit about the film that may go
over some people's heads. Eddie Izzard plays Gustav Von Wagonheim,
another actor who has numerous scenes with Dafoe that turn out simply
hilarious, or at least I thought so. Dafoe was brilliant as Nosforatu,
he had the part down perfectly as you fall into his spell and truly
believe he was the demon. This is a wonderful tribute to "Nosferatu",
quite possibly Horror's most important movie. This may not be
appreciated by the mainstream, but horror fans will eat, drink and suck
this one up.
FEAR FACTOR: 7
- STUPID VICTIM SCALE: N/A - SFX: 8
SHARK ATTACK 2 - 2000 - Director: David Wirth
A cross
between Jaws and Deep Blue Sea, but not nearly as big-budget or nearly
as good. It's better than the first film that featured Casper
Van Dien. The story is ridiculously simple, and young woman's
sister is killed by sharks and she's out to get revenge. The local
tourist-dependent city has some greedy politicians who want to keep
a White Shark as an exhibit, despite the warnings from it's manager,
played by Thorsten Kaye. To make a long story short, it is discovered
that the shark belongs to a pack, or school rather, that has been the
victims of genetic research. Along with the help of an Australian
"Jaque Cousteu" who acts like the Crocodile Hunter, they set
out to destroy the sharks. Yes, it's has very similar story lines
as a lot of other shark movies, but it's done pretty well and is reasonably
interesting. Plus, Nikita Alger is about as cute as they get and
lights up every scene she's in.
FEAR FACTOR: 7
- STUPID VICTIM SCALE: N/A - SFX: 8
SHE - 1985
This is
one of the more unexplainable films out there. I swear they made
this up as they went along. They're playing off the success of "Conan"
and "The Road Warrior" and even "Monty Python And The
Holy Grail". The only problem is it's nowhere near the quality
of any of those films. Conan's girlfriend from the first film
Sandahl Bergman, is "She". Apparently "She"
is some sort of cult-leader who, through a ridiculous chain of events
helps a couple brothers save their kidnapped sister from the evil "Norks",
don't worry it get's sillier and more confusing. Along the way they
run into some downright weird characters. A group of weirdos dressed
like mummies that wield chainsaws, a giant wearing a tutu, a clan of
Vampire/Werewolves and some wacko with green eyes and telekinetic abilities
named Godan (play off Gonad? hmmm) It's not as cool as it sounds
as most of the characters are not played as well as they could be.
Don't turn this one off though, it may be tempting, but let it go, after
awhile it gets so bad it's good.
FEAR FACTOR: 1
- STUPID VICTIM SCALE: 3 - SFX: 3
SILENCE
OF THE LAMBS - 1991 - Director: Jonathan Demme
You could
probably teach a college course on this film, there's so many layers
and the characters and so in depth, you need to watch this one numerous
times to grasp the intertwined stories. Part of it is a case study
into the mind a serial killer, another is part is pure and simple Horror,
and yet there's more branches to this story. The movie is circled
around the relationship between Hannibal Lecter (Anthony Hopkins) and
FBI Agent (in-training) Clarice Starling (Jodie Foster). Starling
is sent to "study" Lecter in a high security institution where
Lecter takes a liking to Starling and agrees to work with her.
Hannibal Lecter is quite possibly the scariest "monster" of
all time. The reaons are numerous, first of all, he murdered
his victims and ate them... but that's not the scariest part, the most
disturbing part is the man's intelliegence and charm. He wasn't
created in a lab, he's not from another planet and he hasn't come back
from the dead, he's a real person, and that's what makes him so extremely
frightening. This movie had huge mainstream and underground success,
mainly because of the many twists and turns the plot takes. If
you take out the horrific images and situations, it's a good mystery,
and the fact that the main hero was a female helped bring them into
the film. Starling eventully seeks help from Lecter to find a
killer at large called "Buffalo Bill", a psycho who skins
his victims alive. When we finally meet him, we realize he might be
even more disturbed than Lecter. I would argue this is more of
a "Psycological Thriller" than true horror as your emotions
are smacked around like a pinball. To punctuate how big this movie
was, Foster and Hopkins won Oscars for "Best Actress and Actor",
Demme won for "Best Director" and the movie itself won for
"Best Film". A decade later a sequel "Hannibal"
was made with decent success and mixed reviews.
FEAR FACTOR: 9
- STUPID VICTIM SCALE: N/A - SFX: 6
SILENT
NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT - 1984
It wasn't
the first, but easily the most controversial movie to featured the killer
dressed as Santa Clause. The Poster went as far as to show a
chimney with Santa's arm out hanging on to an axe. There's some
pretty disturbing stuff here including a rape and murder scene in the
beginning with the perpetrator dressed as Santa. This one STILL
is pretty unnerving. This one came out right in the middle of
the Slasher frenzy in 1984 which turned out to be the beginning of the
end. The sequals that follow were poorly done with lot's of flashbacks.
This wasn't your typical Slasher, despite the Santa angle. You
know who the killer is, and in some ways sympathize with him, which
always makes for a confusing and disturbing scenerio. Scream Queen
Linnea Quigley (Return Of The Living Dead) is a little "horned
up" as she shows why she was so often the victim in the slasher
flicks... damn that girl can scream. The Christmas theme wasn't
invented here, "Black Christmas" touched on the subject 10
years earlier, and "To All A Good Night" in 1980 had a Santa
Clause killer, they just didn't advertise it or promote it like this
one did.
FEAR FACTOR: 7 -
STUPID VICTIM SCALE: 5 - SFX: 4
SILENT
NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT 2 - 1987
This is
possibly one of the worst sequels ever made. I would say a third
of this or more was flash-backs to the first one. In other words...
total rip off. This one is based around the younger brother of
the killer in the first movie who's now grown up and in a mental institute.
There's nothing really good to say here, the killer is about as unconvincing
as you get as they try to ad a twisted humer reminiscent to Freddie
Krueger, who was pretty big at this time. Definately a let down
from the first, they've tainted the series with more sequels after this
one.
FEAR FACTOR: 7 -
STUPID VICTIM SCALE: 5 - SFX: 4
SILENT
NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT 3 - 1989
I will go
on record here saying that actress Samantha Scully may have WORST scream
I have ever seen and heard. This, unfortunately, wasn't the worst
part about this dog. The killer from the orignal movie is still
alive and in a coma, you can see his brain through this RIDICULOUS thing
on his head that looks like a tupperwear bowl. I couldn't stop
laughing later in the film when he trys to cover it with a stocking
cap, it must be seen to be believed. If you've followed the series,
this film makes NO sense whatsoever as it is more of a sequel to the
first one than part 2. There's no real scares here, just some
blood, and even that's not realistic whatsoever. The killer mopes
around so slow he couldn't catch a cold, but somehow he mananges to
slaughter a bunch of people, most of them being extremely stupid.
FEAR FACTOR: 4 -
STUPID VICTIM SCALE: 8 - SFX: 3
SILENT
NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT 4: "Initiation" - 1990 - Brian Yuzna
This sequel
has nothing to do with the first three installments... and after the
last one, that truly is the best Christmas present a boy could ever
have. The problem is that this one is pretty bad in it's own right.
It seems to have nothing to do with Christmas, other than it's that
time of the year. This one starts off about Spotaneous Combustion,
but ends up as a messed up witchcraft story mixed with Spontaneous Combustion...
huh? B-Movie vet Brian Yuzna (Return Of The Living Dead 3, The
Dentist 1 & 2) does a decent job, but the story is so silly and
confusing, it doesn't really matter. Clint Howard (Ice Cream Man)
is his usual sicko character, and Reggie Bansister of "Phantasm"
phame makes a cameo. If you're squirmish about bugs, like I am,
keep away from this one, there's some really disgusting moments here.
FEAR FACTOR: 4 -
STUPID VICTIM SCALE: 8 - SFX: 3
SILENT
NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT 5- 1992 - Director: Martin Kitrosser
The final
instalment to date is more like "Puppetmaster" than the "Slasher"
theme it originated as. Micky Rooney stars as "Joe Petto",
a toy-maker who's "toys" have become nasty killing machines.
They are stalking one young boy in particular and his mother.
You can't go much further without giving away the plot. If you
look closely to Rooney's name, you'll eventually figure out what famous
Disney movie it follows. There's some pretty good gore in this
one and some humor, Kitrosser does a nice job with everything.
If you were fed up with the series like I was after part 3, give it
another chance, it's really a different movie and theme.
FEAR FACTOR: 3 -
STUPID VICTIM SCALE: 3 - SFX: 4
Simon
Says - 2006 - Director: William Dear
The first
question you need to ask is what Crispin Glover is doing in this film.
Granted, he certainly adds a creep element to the film just because
Glover is, well, creepy. The story has been done many times over, kids,
the woods and a serial killer. The problem is that the kids are completely
unlikable, the dialogue is moronic and there's an overused element of
gore that's get's rather annoying as the film goes on. This one really
falls under the "so bad it's good" category and it's really
only going to appeal to a teenage mentality. Glover's skills as a bizarre
actor are better served in more unique roles than this, one can only
wonder what his motivation for taking this role is.
FEAR FACTOR: 4
- STUPID VICTIM SCALE: 7 - SFX: 5
THE
SIXTH SENSE
This was
one of the biggest movies of 90's and one of the highest grossing "Horror"
films of all time. To go along with that, it won Academy awards
for Best Director (M. Night Shyamalan), Best Supporting Actor
(Haley Joel Osment), and Best Supporting Actress (Toni Collette).
Bruce Willis stars as Psychologist Dr. Malcolm Crowe, who is trying
to help a young boy named Cole Sear played by Haley Joel Osment.
Cole has a special "gift", apparently he can see spirits.
The line "I see dead people" is one of the more memorable
lines in recent Horror history. The movie isn't as scary as most
people say it is, it's a very touching story with a darker subject matter.
There are a few gorey scenes, but nothing too drastic, most of the fear
is created by the great work done by Osment, and director Shyamalan.
Something as simple as someone passing through the background gave you
a chill. In my opinion, movies like the Excorcist and Texas Chainsaw
Massacre were much more frightening, but what made this one different
was the relationship between the Osment and Willis characters.
It is disturbing for different reasons than most Horror films, and that's
what makes in special.
FEAR FACTOR: 7 -
STUPID VICTIM SCALE: N/A - SFX: 7
SKEETER
- 1993
Was your
mother like mine and was always warning about Misquitos carrying a "sleeping
disease"? Well, it turns out she was right because this
one put me to sleep. Most of the movie plays out like a network
"Movie Of The Week" as the locals are fighting a corporate
bad guy from buying them out and polluting the water. Too much
talking and not enough action! Plus the bugs just aren't scary!
The cast is a who's who of low budget movies, Charles Napier is the
corrupt sherrif, George "Buck" Flower is a local redneck,
and Michael J. Pollard plays the weird guy... what a stretch for him,
(Tango & Cash, Next Of Kin). His cast of character names include
Boner, Bud, Woody, Stucky, Ralph, and in this one he's Hopper.
You see, I have to talk about the cast because NOTHING HAPPENED during
the movie! I hate to say it, but 95's "Mosquito" had
ten times more action. So, take your pick, good acting with no
action, or bad acting with a lot of action, the choice is yours.
Personally, both movies really bugged me.
FEAR FACTOR: 4 -
STUPID VICTIM SCALE: 5 - SFX: 3
