| VALENTINE
- 2001 - Director: Jamie Blanks
This one
is taken RIGHT out of the 80's "Slasher/Revenge" handbook.
It had a great start actually... young busty Med-school coed doing her
homework after hours. She's about ready to slice a cadaver when
she hears a noise, which turns out to be a false alarm. Making
a long story short, the end of the chase ended up making NO sense as
the victim was... SPOILER WARNING ...hiding in a body-bag! Come
on!! You know what characters are going to die shortly afer they're
introduced, which holds very true to the classic slasher theme.
This one is still a left-over from the "Scream" snowball effect
and was directed by Jamie Blanks, who also did "Urban Legend".
It's certainly a good quality film as they had some star power involved
like Denise Richards (Wild Things) and Marley Shelton (Bubble Boy).
Unfortunatley Denise Richards only has two things going for her, and
it's not her acting ability and personality if you know what I mean.
Overall the people in this are WAY to pretty, for God's sake the there
wasn't a hair out of place or a crooked smile! There's some pretty
tense moments as this one heats up, but also some slow periods as well.
The ending is good, it saves what could have been a mediocre Hollywood
attempt at horror. The soundtrack on the other hand is killer!
Rob Zombie, Beautiful Creatures, Orgy, Disturbed, Static X, Marilyn
Manson and more.
FEAR FACTOR:
3 - STUPID VICTIM SCALE: 4 - SFX:
6 |
| VAMPIRE
IN BROOKLYN - 1995 - WES CRAVEN
About all
this one has going for it are some cool effects, thanks to Wes Craven's
directing. Eddie Murphy makes one of the dumbest looking and talking
vampires in history! Angela Bassett carries Eddie's ass most of
this movie, maybe when it came time to pay everyone she should have
said "Eddie, I want half!". Kadeem Hardison was somewhat
funny as the "Renfield" character and John Witherspoon had
some pretty funny moments as an old landlord. This one was written
by Mr. Murphy and was supposed to be a comedy and love story, but ends
up just being a load of mediocre entertainment.
FEAR FACTOR:
3 - STUPID VICTIM SCALE: 4 - SFX:
6 |
| VAMPIRE
JOURNALS - 1997 - TED NICOLAOU
Between
Writer/Director Ted Nicolaou's Subspecies 3 and 4, he released this
similar tale of the Undead. I was very suprised and pleased with
the superb acting and setting of this one. I feel that Nicolaou
really captures the true nature of the Vampire world. He shows
their emotions and their weaknesses in an intelligent and classy delivery.
This story follow "Zachery", a vampire that despises what
he has become. He becomes quite fond of a young American pianist
and try's to help her avoid the lure of the evil Vampire "Ash".
Those who closely follow the Subspecies series will notice "Ash"
(Jonathan Morris) appears a year after this film in 98's "Supspecies
4". The dialogue is heavy, and hardly follows the B-Movie
formula. Where it lacks in action, it makes up with in suspense
and heavy emotional situations.
FEAR FACTOR:
6 - STUPID VICTIM SCALE: 3 - SFX:
5 |
| VAMPYRES
- 1974 - Director: Jose Ramon Larazz
Two lovely
"Vampryes" are getting rides from strangers and bringing them
back to their mansion or "lair" to feed on them. This
is a VERY erotic film and the two women are stunning, this years before
the breast enhancement craze, the girls are natural beauties.
The plot is fairly simple, one might argue there barely is one, but
you are "sucked" into the film's seductive nature. We
follow the lives of one victim and a young couple who are camping near
the castle. The wife begins to suspect some strange behavior going
on and starts to investigate. Meanwhile, one of the victims is
being held hostage by the power of these lovely demons. "Fran"
played by Marianne Morris is particularily aluring, it's unfortunate
she didn't do many other films. This had to be considered soft
porn in 74' as it still has some hot moments for today's standards.
If you like the "Witchcraft" series, find this one and see
REAL erotica. This one becomes quite frightening and disturbing,
for true horror fans, it's a must-see.
FEAR FACTOR:
6 - STUPID VICTIM SCALE: 3 - SFX:
5 |
| VIRUS
- 1999
Swashbuckling
action at sea with everyone's favorite Scream Queen Jamie Lee Curtis.
A crew of American sailors led by Donald Sutherland take refuge on an
abandoned Russian research vessel... unfortunately they're no completely
alone. An alien lifeform that lives through eletricity has turned
the ship and it's crew into killing machines, and now it wants the new
crew for parts. You could make comparisons to Alien, The Terminator
and a hundred other Science Fiction Horror flicks. The cast is
more than adequate for this type of movie, along with Curtis and Sutherland
you have William Baldwin (Backdraft) and Joanna Pacula (Haunted Sea,
Not Like Us). The effects are stellar with a lot of gore and the
action is nonstop. You can't technically call it a "sleeper"
with a cast like this, but it's often overlooked as overblown Hollywood
fluff. My advice is to chill out and enjoy the ride.
FEAR FACTOR:
3 - STUPID VICTIM SCALE: 4 - SFX:
6 |
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